A few of many of my strong mom friends at Hybrid Fitness
Recently I wrote a list of the people I admire and their attributes. This outline serves as a reference for my intention, what inspires me, who influences me, and what qualities I value in life. My list includes my mother who is patient, compassionate, present, peaceful, and a good listener. I also included many of my mom friends from the gym who I see as resourceful, dependable, self-reliant, knowledgeable, loyal, and independent. These qualities inspire me everyday. Life throws a lot our way and the moms in our lives are amazing role models for all of us in how to handle what comes at us, with grace and ease. I feel very fortunate to be part of a community that includes many strong moms. Your strength is not just in your deadlifts and back squats, but also in your successes and struggles, your personal daily prs and your ability to show up and do your best, just like you do at the gym.
Who is on your list, and what are the qualities you admire?
This week I have the pleasure of visiting my niece and nephew during my trip to Colorado. My time with them consists of doing things they love and watching them be awesome. We play tetherball, ride bikes, read stories, make slime, and there’s soccer and flag football games too. Both of them have something they are awesome at doing, and their joy and excitement around that is contagious.
Yesterday I took them to their school fair, complete with sack races and a dunk tank. I love seeing them in their world and having them share it with me. Sven, a circus arts performer, was my highlight at the fair. I’m always impressed when someone can do these amazing stunts and entertain an audience with humor and wit, with a peppering of philosophy. Sven climbed towers, balanced on giant spheres, and juggled fire. It was meant to impress the kids, but I was riveted. This man was “doing his awesome.” I realized as he set up to do his final tight rope walk that he was not just entertaining us, he was not an exhibitionist, he was simply exceptional at his art and inviting us in to his passion. His mission was not to inspire us to become circus artists, but to inspire us to be awesome at something we love.
As he began his walk across the tight rope, he looked out at us and said just what I was thinking, “Boys and girls, I know I make this look easy, but this is hard. I’ve been doing this for 28 years and I’m really good. But I’m not here to inspire you to become jugglers. I’m here to excite you to find something you love and be awesome at that. Then go out and share that with the world. That’s the world I want to live in, where people are awesome at different things and they share that with each other.”
Today was my turn to share my awesome with the kids. We went on a full day expedition in the mountains. There was so much joy between us as we laughed and learned, and sang and summited. This is the world I want to live in, just like Sven, where people share their awesome with each other and bring joy not only for themselves but to each other by sharing it…
Years ago while traveling in New York with a colleague, I had the most unusual conversation over lunch. If you have ever been to New York, you know the endless dining options around any corner. We had found a great restaurant the day before but with the world at our fingertips, I suggested we try some place new. “Why would I want to do that?” my co-worker replied. “Yesterday was amazing. Why risk it?” Our perspectives were completely different; where novelty and diversity might have been on my radar, nourishment was on his. I conceded without issue, and passing up dozens of options on our four block walk, we sat down to a lovely, yet predictable, lunch. I pressed him on this. “How is it that one of the smartest people I know is not interested in discovering new cuisine or seeking a novel experience?” His answer astonished me. “Dorrie, when I was younger I realized there are three things I plan to do every day for the rest of my life. I plan to do each one of those well, and this will greatly contribute to the quality of my life.” Given the context of the conversation, I knew eating was among the list, and sleep is a pretty obvious daily occurrence. What was the third thing he plans to do every day for the rest of his life? I wondered. It wasn’t really an appropriate table topic, but the big reveal…Poo! We departed from that conversation as our salads were served, but I have thought about it ever since. I know what you are thinking, “Is she really going there, right now?” Yes and no. I’m actually going to leave that part of the conversation right there, but highlight a few things I have learned relative to digestion, gut health, and quality of life.
Being mindful of how and what we eat contributes to our quality of life and the things we want to do each day. Good nourishment starts with quality ingredients. How they interact in our digestive systems contributes to absorbing those nutrients, and a well-functioning gut keeps things flowing in the right direction.
Here are my five tips for a healthy digestive system and improved quality of life:
Slow down and chew your food! Digestion begins with the saliva in your mouth. The more you chew your food, the less work your intestines have to do once the food gets there. Give your gut a break and chew your food well.
Eat your veggies! Fiber contributes to maintaining your gastrointestinal health, aids in regularity, and helps prevent inflammation. Soluble and insoluble fiber food sources to add to your diet include: vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, whole grains, and legumes.
Mix it up! Increase diversity of bacteria in the gut by eating different foods. Keep your palette interested, and find new things to enjoy.
Empower the Dynamic Duo! Prebiotics and probiotics work together to promote gut health. Probiotics are the good bacteria that help balance the flora in our digestive tract. These can be found in yogurt, and other fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchee, pickles, kefir, and miso. Prebiotics are the fuel for these good bacteria and are easily provided through bananas, asparagus, garlic, honey, avocado, oats, beans, and berries.
Eat real food and cut out the fake stuff! Preservatives, additives, and artificial sweeteners introduce chemicals that make extra work for your body to process and can have a negative effect on your gut.
I never know where lifelong wisdom is going to show up, and that conversation at lunch years ago was a great surprise. Before I pull an all-nighter, I remember my quality of life is affected by the quality of my sleep. While I still prefer to try new restaurants and cuisine, I am mindful to seek nutrient dense food that tastes good and is prepared well. With those two things on the list in place, EVERYTHING else usually goes pretty smoothly.
Growing up, our neighborhood sentinel stood watch from his front porch, alert and ready to seize upon any passerby. His bark echoed between the houses, and we were dutifully warned by all the adults to give him a wide berth. He was a troubled dog, with a mysterious past. I imagined his face behind the screen door, an angry pairing of daggered teeth, slimy, dripping gnarled lip, and dark, menacing eyes. On our side of the door his swift canine canter would break into a full-speed sprint across the lawn, a black blur with a single glistening highlight at his flapping jowl. In our young minds it became a survival art to navigate to each other’s houses and back without waking the beast. Palms sweaty, on tiptoes, we’d walk in pairs with one suspended breath from the edge of his property to the next, one eye on the door, and one eye on the safety zone. From paper boy terror, to cyclist wounds, the dog’s ferociousness became legendary and walking by his house was no longer an option. Fear’s invisible hand guided us like marionettes; first one house away, then eventually two, and finally, we never walked within three houses of our local, furry vigilante. Our neighborhood boundaries of safety were prescribed, our path and playground dictated by a healthy fear.
Practical fear serves us well when it keeps us safe; it is a self-defense mechanism. With that in mind, I listen to my fear, but I try not to be a marionette in its hand. The dog is long gone and I have since left my neighborhood, but my boundaries of safety are always being established, informed by the combination of my experiences.
About 8 years ago I sprained my hip lifting a crate of artwork that weighed 220 pounds. I was immobile, and needed help to do even so little as tie my shoe. I was in agony not just from the pain, but because of my dependency on other people. As a “strong, independent woman,” being stripped of my capability, stripped part of my identity, and it was unnerving. After weeks, even months of recovery I operated in a newly defined safety zone. My boundaries included lighter lifting, even baskets of laundry were questionable, and I NEVER approached 220 pounds. The number itself invoked a visceral response, sweaty palms, stilled breath, as if 220 was my new ferocious beast just around the corner, whose bark echoed between the houses.
There has been a lot of growth in the last eight years, including learning how to be comfortable relying on other people, welcoming new definitions of my identity, and being more fluid with my ideas about safety, comfort, and risk. Despite the growth and awareness, strength and (a reasonable degree of) independence continue to be a priority for me, as made obvious by my work at Hybrid Fitness. These last few weeks with deadlifts in our workouts, I’ve been staring down the dog of 220. It has been waiting for me around the corner. I’m perfectly comfortable and safe “2 or 3 houses down” in the 190-200 range, working on my form. I can stay here quietly, but honestly, there is something seductive about the deadlift. And for all my convincing of myself that I am fine to steer clear of 220, there is a powerful part of me that wants to tame the beast, to walk right up to it and have it eat out of my hand.
I think a lot of us share a love of the deadlift. It is a movement that is new to many of us since joining Hybrid and at first may have seemed inaccessible or intimidating. But many of us convert after walking up to that bar with those big weights, squeezing our glutes, driving our weight through our heels, popping our hips out and our chests up, and BOOM! We’re deadlifting and going back for more. We use this movement to measure and express our comprehensive strength and power, and we celebrate this success. In strength training, we learn to trust the process of progression. We learn technique; we get better; and we get stronger. While I have been milling around in my safety zone these weeks, I have reinforced my technique and gained strength. This progression led me to my next step.
I’m standing in the front yard of 220, its gnarled lip and frothy mouth inches from my own. I know I can choose to go home, but I chalk up and let my body do what it knows how to do. I walk right past my own imaginary boundary and dance my way to 225. Fear is not even in the room, not a single shadow of an echoing bark.
In order to progress I had to think about what message my fear was sending. Was I the marionette of fear directed by arbitrary boundaries, or was the fear protecting me from doing something harmful? As soon as I knew I could handle what I was doing, I did it. I made sure there was no ego, no bravado, and it wasn’t about anything other than my own strength in that moment. The arbitrary boundary dissolved as I allowed my knowledge to surface. Listening to fear in a practical sense protects us from certain dangers, while trusting our experience frees ourselves from other types of fear. What are your growling dogs and 220s? Is your fear good self-defense, or is it something to face and move past? Explore the difference, and dance yourself safely to the best version of you!
Enjoying an ocean breeze while working on my core.
When I broke the news to Hunter that I was going to miss class because I would be out of town, he was so happy for me. I joke about my perfect attendance when I sign in at the gym, but my commitment to wellness, all kidding aside, is a priority. I’m not just a fair-weather exerciser. So when I lamented I’d be missing class because I was traveling I was surprised by his response. “Great,” he said, “Go do what you love.” My first response was, “Aren’t you disappointed I won’t be keeping up with my workouts this week?” And he simply reminded me, “Dorrie, you don’t come to the gym to come to the gym.” What a simple, brilliant, statement.
I don’t come to the gym to come to the gym.
Like any of us, I come to the gym for all sorts of reasons, many of which support my mission to be healthy so I am able to give to my community and to live a full life. This month at Hybrid Fitness we are talking about why we do things, so I wanted to take a look at the exercises I do and why I do them. I don’t just deadlift so I can walk around town and deadlift. That would be weird! All of these movements improve my overall strength which in turn support me in being able to give the most of myself and have a full life. Of course I love the big, complex movements and the measurable gains of the isolated movements, but today I want to talk about what keeps it all together-the core. This is the foundation of our exercise regimen.
What is our core?
Our core is made up of a series of muscle groups, including the upper and lower abdominals, internal and external obliques, lower back muscles, hip flexors, pelvic floor, and I like to include on my list, the powerful glutes.
Why is core strength important?
These muscles provide a framework of support for our inner organs; they protect our back; and a strong core improves balance and stability; promotes better posture; and lessens our risk of injury. We don’t just need a strong core to be able to protect our back or have balance at the gym. A strong core helps us shovel snow, carry groceries, help an injured pet, carry bags of mulch for the garden, hike a mountain, put a suitcase in the overhead compartment, tie our shoes, cross the deck of a moving sailboat, or hold a child in our arms. A strong core impacts our lives every day.
How do we strengthen our core?
The following core movements are the favorite five at Hybrid Fitness. These are all body weight exercises. If you find that you might miss a week at the gym because you are off doing what you love, you can always do these core strengthening exercises on your own.
Plank- targets the upper and lower abdominals and the glutes
Russian Twist- targets the obliques
Superman- targets the glutes and lower back
Dead bug- targets the pelvic floor and promotes hip stability
Glute bridge- targets the hip flexors, the pelvic floor, and fires up the glutes
While I don’t have to know all the what, why, and how of the exercises, I think it helps. Giving your body the cues to engage certain muscles sets up a pathway from your brain to the muscles in a way that supports them. Paying attention to building your core through these movements helps you put the extra effort and intention into those twists or lifts rather than just going through the motions. Knowing why your core muscles matter for you can help keep you motivated to do these motions as much as knowing why you come to the gym. Remember you don’t just do planks to do planks, and you don’t just come to the gym to come to the gym.
When we start on a wellness path (joining a gym, starting a nutrition plan, meditating, doing yoga, etc.) there is a lot of attention to change and improvement. This quest for the best versions of ourselves sometimes carries the implication that we are not enough. We put this condition in the equation. I want to obtain X, and then I will be complete. If this sounds like your equation, I invite you to remember at this moment you are the sum of all of your experiences and all that make you unique; and that is enough. Enough is not a destination. Enough doesn’t happen when you lose weight, run faster, lift more, or eat less. Enough is now. Why is this important? Because so many of you just read those words and said, “Well, maybe but…if only I were____.”
It’s this tiny dialog in the backs of our minds that erode our self worth, create doubt, and cloud our heads with negative judgments about ourselves. And that negativity can create an emotional obstacle to our dream destination. It is hard to make yourself a priority when there’s a tiny voice saying you are not worthy. Before you can move forward on your path, you have to value yourself, as you are. We are in a constant state of growth and progression, and no one is ever complete or perfect. We start as enough and grow to an even better version of ourselves. If we count on becoming enough each time we reach a new goal, enough will elude us forever.
What do I know about being enough? Well, I was notorious for my arbitrary 10 pound line. It looked like this: I’d like to lose 10 pounds. You should see the list of plans I have for when I lose 10 pounds. I’m going to be so busy! But then I lost 10 pounds, and I wasn’t finished. I made new plans. People would compliment me, and I would say, “It’s a work in progress; I’m not done.” I realized I kept assigning value to this arbitrary place that I would get to and then I’d be complete; then I’d be enough. One day Hunter took my picture for the front of the gym. I asked if we could wait until I lost 10 pounds, but there wasn’t time to wait. And that is when the switch flipped for me. This moment in time I am who I am, and I am enough, just as I am. I am not going to arrive at a magical place and be perfect. My starting point is enough, and that is the magic. Now as I grow and evolve, I become an improved version of myself.
I want this for all of you, because I’m so happy being enough! I don’t have that tiny voice in my head judging me or deciding if I am worthy. With those obstacles removed, my wellness path is clear, and I can enjoy the journey. Enough said.
Some helpful tips on being enough:
Remember that you are unique. You do you better than anyone else. Don’t compare yourself to others. Love yourself unconditionally. Being enough is the starting point. Your destination is growth. And finally, say it out loud, “I AM ENOUGH.” (No really, try it!)
Rest and recovery are essential parts of our self-care routine and critical to our overall performance. Most of us know that we need to rest after a long week or a big event, but many of us are still figuring out how to manage the rest and recovery of a workout schedule. Last week dead lifts came back to the gym routine. I’m glad we do them at the end of the week so I can recover over the weekend. Those big movements always zap me. But dead lifts aren’t the only thing that we need to recover from; we should be recovering after each workout. We hear consistent messages about getting to the gym, pushing ourselves, and the virtue of hard work. These are good motivating messages, but sometimes they eclipse part of the self-care picture. My challenge is turning off that noise and listening to my body so that I can maximize my efforts. Invariably my body gives me the message – rest and recover. And that is exactly what I do.
I rest and recover every day.
Why is this so important?
During strength training and exercise, our bodies experience depletion of energy, loss of fluids, and muscle tissue break down. Because of how our bodies function, the work we are doing to get strong happens outside the gym just as much as it does at the gym. Physiologically, rest days and recovery time give the body time to repair, rebuild, and strengthen, and the repaired tissue is stronger than the original muscle. We also want to avoid over-use injuries. It is hard for me to imagine skipping a day at the gym, but I can’t imagine the pain of being sidelined for weeks or even months, especially if it is avoidable.
The second half to the rest and recovery equation is psychological. No one wants to dread going to class, or have to drag themselves to the gym. If we are too tired to be excited and look forward to this week’s progression, to enjoy class, or to even get a full workout in, what is the point of going? If that keeps happening- guess what? We probably won’t stick with our workout routine. Most of us love how we feel at the gym, accomplished, empowered, energized, happy, and we don’t want to jeopardize that.
And finally, something we hear a lot about- life balance. Going to the gym is wonderful, but bringing the joy you find at the gym to the other areas of your life is enriching too. Being strong and healthy so you can enjoy time with your family, gardening, hiking, work, or other hobbies is important to all of us. If we aren’t rested we won’t have the energy to participate in any other life enriching activities and this throws us out of balance.
How do I get stronger, prevent injury, continue to enjoy my workouts, avoid burnout, and create a balanced life?
Hydration: I drink at least half my body weight in oz. of water.
Nutrition: I use food as fuel to nourish and support my daily activity.
Stretching: I never miss the dynamic warm-up and static stretch cool down. Foam rolling is a welcomed bonus.
Sleep: I try for 8 hours of sleep a night, and I look forward to at least one day a week without an alarm clock.
Stress management: I pay attention to stress triggers and try to keep these to a minimum. This includes a few minutes of deep breathing in a quiet space in my home.
Here’s the bonus question: “What if I go to the gym 5 days a week, how do I rest and recover between each workout?”
Here’s my strategy: I listen to my body!
I have a few rules about working out. I never lift more than 2 days in a row, and this helps promote a natural rhythm for my body from day to day. I start every workout with a dynamic warm-up. These movements allow me to take a full body inventory so I can adjust my workout. This is my listening time. If I feel tired, or have joint pain I might opt for low impact movements. If I feel a strain, I check in with a trainer, and modify a movement or go to a lower weight and work on my form. Adapting to the messages I hear from my body is the best way to use the time at the gym to promote the next recovery. And finally, if I am sick, sleep-deprived, or hearing a “slow down” message from my body, I stay home. Progress does not mean all the time, all the way, over the top. Progress includes self care, rest, and recovery every day.
Hi everyone! I thought I’d give you a little background on how I came to be a guest blogger for Hybrid Fitness. About a year ago I invited Hunter to join me on my weekly walk. I use this time to clear my head and get some fresh air. He joined me, and now my walk is our walk. Our conversations meander from business advice, to personal development, to fitness, to general wellness. We talk about books we are reading, ideas, goals, relationships, challenges, and I always try to leave him with a little nugget of wisdom. It was only a matter of time before he decided he wanted to start sharing some of these nuggets of wisdom with all of you. It didn’t seem quite right that he kept them all to himself. Hunter is a big fan of the live camera, as we all know, and he’s a big fan of pushing me outside my comfort zone. One day he put the camera on me and said, “Let’s go live on Facebook!” What?! I’m not a Let’s Go Live kind of person. As an introvert, I’m a listener, and I think A LOT. I am not shy, but I do not perform, or give on-demand wisdom. Going live is not my style, but I agreed that some of the things we talk about and I think about might be interesting to all of you. He’s always thinking of ways to enrich everyone’s experience at Hybrid Fitness, and so our compromise for the past few months has been the Weekly Thought from Dar. I take a picture and share on Facebook one insight from that week with the hope of bringing you a new perspective, a challenge to grow on your path to the best version of you. Given that platform, I realized there’s so much more to share. Hunter and I agreed that these little nuggets of wisdom could be expanded to blog style articles with more depth.
It’s not easy for me to put my thoughts out there, but this community is the perfect venue. We all come to Hybrid Fitness because it is judgment-free. We are supportive and encouraging of one another. So while I am not going “live”, I am outside my comfort zone (another win for Hunter). I hope to bring you quality content for your own personal development, while sharing a little of my story. I am not an authority on any given topic, but I am passionate about wellness, including fitness and nutrition. Over the next few months you will learn more about me, but more importantly, by bringing you information about wellness, fitness, and nutrition, hopefully you will learn more about you.
And now what you came here for…the weekly thought from Dar…
“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” –Meister Eckhart
It takes courage to be new to something. We reach our adult lives and most of us have become professionals in a field, or we have our routines that are really familiar. Being a beginner is uncomfortable and unfamiliar. When we walk into a new place, a new job, a first date, or the weight room at the gym, it can be a little scary. Try to remember in the midst of that fear, that it is never as scary as it seems. We’ve all survived the scariest, newest times in our lives. That’s how we got here, right? On the other side of the beginning, all of the new possibilities are waiting for you. In anything you do, you are a beginner first. What possibilities will be open to you if you let yourself be a beginner again?
